A Story About God and Alfalfa

Recently, I have been helping my friend Reagan teach Bible class on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights at our church. Many times I wish that I had a recorder just to play back the conversations. Their comments are sometimes hilarious enough that I think they could've made it onto that old show, "Kids Say the Darndest Things."

Thus far, the story about Alfalfa is my favorite. This particular group of kids was in first grade, if I recall. Reagan and I teach in the "Reel Room" where we have the kids watch a clip from an old cartoon and somehow try to make it applicable to a Bible lesson. Sometimes it goes over the kids' heads, but you'd be surprised how much they know. While occasionally they get hopelessly distracted and off-topic, oftentimes they are quite profound and seem to have a grasp on the most important things of all. Other times, they're just hilarious! I find myself biting my tongue and my lips trying not erupt into laughter, while wondering how on earth Reagan is going to respond.


Anyway, I think that's all the pertinent background information. So allow me to begin. We were talking to the kids about how we need to put God first in our lives and how if we don't, there will be consequences. For example, we talked about Adam and Eve eating the forbidden fruit and being thrown out of the Garden of Eden. We talked about Jonah refusing to go to Nineveh to preach and then being swallowed by a whale.


We were also teaching the kids about grace and how in every situation, there are consequences when people don't do what God tells them to do, but the greatest thing about God is that He is always gracious. Adam and Eve were kicked out of the garden, but God still loved them and they were able to have children and provide for themselves. God didn't decide to just wipe them off the face of the earth; he merely removed them from the garden. Jonah was swallowed by a whale, but God saved Jonah in the end and gave him another chance. Class was going splendidly...until we got to the story of David.


Reagan: "What do y'all know about David?"


Kid #1: "I have an uncle named David!"


Kid #2 & Kid #3: "My Dad's name is David!"


Reagan: "Well, that's...that's...I'm talking about David from the Bible like David and Bathsheba, David and Goliath..."


Kids: "Oh yeah, David!"


While I stifled my giggles, I thought we were probably back on track for the next few minutes.


But it wasn't to be.


Reagan: "But even though David made a lot of mistakes, God showed him mercy."


Kid #4: "What's mercy?"


Me: "It's sort of like grace and forgiveness, when you get something you don't really deserve."


Reagan: "Like when someone forgives you for doing something wrong."


Kid #2: "I know that Alfalfa says mercy a lot!!! 'Mercy!' That's what he says. All the time."


Kid #3: "Who's Alfalfa?"


Kid #1: "He's on that show about the...the..."


Kid #4: "Little Rascals?"


Kid #2: "Yeah, that's it!"


The conversation spread to the other side of the room at the speed of light. Well I guess it would be at the speed of sound, but you get the point.


Kid #5: "Who's Alfalfa?"


Kid #6: "No! He said Alvin! Like the chipmunks!"


Kid #7: "Oh! Alvin! I like Alvin!"


Kid #2: "I wasn't talking about Alvin. I was talking about Alfalfa!"


Reagan: "Okay, well God forgives people over and over throughout the Bible. Anybody have any prayer requests?"


I love Bible class.

Because I Need To Cheer Myself Up

Grad school was extra evil today. I need to think happy thoughts, so I'm going to post only happy things that cheer me up.

#1: I heard this song on the radio on the way home and found myself smiling, despite my terrible day because it was exactly what I needed to hear.



It's impossible for me not to smile when I hear that song.

#2: This song was on the radio this morning, too. I love it. It's by a new group called City Harmonic. I don't really care much about music videos, but I could only find links for these two songs on YouTube. So if you don't like watching the video, just look away for a couple minutes or scroll down or something. Listen to it, though! It has a great piano part, too. Maybe I'll learn it someday.



#3: Also, since I feel like I re-evaluate my life plans every 3 seconds these days, this verse is a lovely one to read over and over:
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9

#4: I'll end with one of my all-time favorite passages, Psalm 139. Go read it. Below is my favorite part of the psalm. I almost have the entire psalm committed to memory. I've turned to it so many times that if I flip through the pages, my Bible will occasionally fall open to it.

"Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, 'Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,'
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you."

Even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

I have a feeling I will find comfort in that verse for the rest of my life.

My Love For B & N

Below is the paper I mentioned earlier which tells the story of the lovely day when Lubbock, Texas got a brand new, huge Barnes & Noble. I'll remember that day forever. I occasionally miss the old, smaller Barnes & Noble, but both the old and new stores smell like coffee and books. I'll stop talking. I mean, I'm about to post a lengthy Barnes & Noble review anyway.

Enjoy!

----

I have been to Barnes and Nobles three times since the doors opened on Wednesday. I went twice on Wednesday alone. The first time, I was in the store for about an hour, and I forced myself to leave when I realized I had class in fifteen minutes. I am simply speechless. Actually, I take that back; I am very rarely speechless. When I opened the beautiful wooden doors and walked in, what I really wanted to do was squeal and jump up and down like a little girl in a candy store. Alas, I did not bring anyone with me, so I managed not to squeal, but I came dangerously close to turning to the stranger who walked in behind me and exclaiming, “There’s even an escalator!” Instead, I stood there, frozen, not even knowing in which direction I should start walking. I finally walked to the right, and lost myself for several minutes as I discovered countless new board games and jigsaw puzzles. I saw the café with all the collectible coffee mugs (I don’t know if they qualify as collectibles, but I will probably have a collection someday). I was distracted by a songbook section and cringed as I walked past the shelves of books on computer programming (but I was still amazed that there were so many books on such a horrible subject). I saw some bestsellers that looked amazing; I looked at the insane number of 2010 wall and desk calendars. I think there was probably a skip in my step as I walked toward the section clearly labeled, “gift wrap,” and when I turned, I saw gift cards galore. I found portfolios and folders that exactly match my current daily planner, and yes, I know it’s a little strange that I find that to be so extremely exciting. At this point, I looked toward the second floor and I saw my favorite section.


Here begins the second part of my journey. I stepped onto the escalator, and as I reached the second floor, I could only see one section, my favorite section. I know that as a responsible, English-loving college student, I should have gone straight to the poetry section or the literature section or the writing section, but I did not. Instead, I walked toward the amazing three-dimensional tree that was branching out from the wall in the children’s book section. That is correct; Ashley Ray’s favorite section of the bookstore is the children’s section. The children’s section just always seems so magical. That wonderful section is probably where I first embraced my love of reading. I could never read enough about princes and princesses and secret passageways into other worlds. I remember going to the old Barnes and Nobles with my mother and looking at every book within reach. My mom would usually give me a price limit and a time limit. I would grab as many books as I could, and then Mom would help me add up the prices and figure out how many books I could actually take home. Anyway (before I go any farther down memory lane), I had high expectations for the new children’s book section, and I was not disappointed. There was an entire section labeled, “fairy tales,” and there were a dozen delighted children saying, “Mom, can we get this one?” or “Wow! Look at that!” So, needless to say, I considered the new Barnes and Nobles to be a complete success.


I eventually moved on to the literature section, and there were so many books; I don’t have time to read all of them, which is rather disappointing. In the poetry section, the first book to catch my eye was, not surprisingly, Bright Star: Love Letters and Poems of John Keats to Fanny Brawne. Of course, that book is now on my Christmas list. Also, I was glad to see that Jeannette Walls (author of The Glass Castle) wrote a new book titled, Half Broke Horses. The Glass Castle is non-fiction but reads as if it is fiction. If I recall, I read the book in one day and reread it within the same year. So now I have added Half Broke Horses to my Christmas list as well. In the writing section, I saw a book titled, How to Write a Book in a Month, and I thought that was completely ridiculous. I found the book titled, How to Read Literature Like a Professor which I have always wanted to read. Last but certainly not least, I found the classics section, which is also full of books I want to read. Correction: the entire store is filled with books I want to read. I wish I could remember more book titles, but the bookstore was completely overwhelming. I haven’t even written about the movies and music section, but I was fascinated by it as well. In short, I believe I will always remember the opening day at Barnes and Nobles, and I will certainly be a frequent customer in the future.


----

So now maybe you understand my love for Barnes & Nobles.

By the way, I did get Half Broke Horses for Christmas, I now have a collection of coffee mugs, and I am a frequent customer to this day.

When I Grow Up...

I'm never taking midterm exams ever ever again. That's all.

Oh, and today, I thought that maybe I could quit grad school and write a book. My friend, Elizabeth, read my blog and suggested that I write one. Writing a book sounds like much more fun than being in grad school, don't you think?

I actually started writing a book once. I started writing several. I even went to a writing camp. I never finish the books. I suppose I should. I mean, if I'm going to quit grad school, I should really at least come up with a plot for a novel first. Although, I might have time to finish writing books if I wasn't busy with all the math gibberish. Decisions, decisions...

Oh! Speaking of books, someday I think it would be absolutely amazing to have a library like the one in Beauty and the Beast.

I love books.

Wait! Maybe I could quit grad school and become a librarian!

I worked in the library in junior high and high school. I'll add it to my list.

Or I could just own a bookstore. Remember this scene?

I could just quit grad school and work in a bookstore. One of my math professors told me I should work at Barnes & Noble. After the new, bigger store opened here in Lubbock, I told everyone in my math class random Barnes & Noble trivia for almost a month. I even wrote a paper about the new store for extra credit for English. Maybe I'll post it on here. I think it's blogworthy. It most certainly conveys my deep love of bookstores.

I'll add working/owning bookstore to my ICQGSAFITB (I Could Quit Grad School And Fill In The Blank) list.

My Fridge

Today I renewed my lease for my apartment, and I finally remembered to tell maintenance that my fridge leaks. They said they'd fix it this afternoon. I said, "Great, thanks!" and then returned to my apartment. I thought I should at least make sure my fridge was cleaned out before some poor soul had to venture into its depths. Luckily, I cleaned it out not too long ago, so when I opened the door, I discovered that I pretty much only had Slim-Fast and Half-and-Half. Well balanced diet, don't you think? I mean, mathematically speaking, they should cancel each other out, right? Half-and-Half is fat, Slim-Fast gets rid of fat. I'm healthy. I even workout a few times a month or a year or so.

That was the most exciting thing that happened to me today. I'll try to be more interesting tomorrow. Don't hold your breath.

And We're Back!

Today, Spring Break ended, and I went back to the math classes in The Dreary Dungeon (aka math building). By the end of the day, I was stressed, worn out, and just plain cranky. I was absolutely positively a trainwreck. I couldn't stop worrying about the neverending to-do list, and I kept telling myself, "Good grief, Ashley! Get over it. There are much worse things in life than grad school." I still have quite a bit of work to do before I go to bed, but I just felt the need to share this lovely cartoon because it made me smile, even though I was in such a terrible mood. Lucy's right. I need to snap out of it.

On a more serious note, I also wanted to share these verses because they are always comforting to me, especially on days like today. I guess you could say that they help me "snap out of it." Perhaps they'll brighten your day, too.

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice . . . do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:4,6-7

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? . . . So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' . . . But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own." Matthew 6:25-34

You see, I don't really have anything to worry about after all.

Dump Cake! Side Story: Cakes Shaped Like Pumpkins

I've always thought it was a little strange that people tend to assume that I'm the Betty Crocker type. I mean, yes, I like food, and yes I eat a lot of it, but I'm no Betty Crocker. Well, unless you count the fact that everything I bake came out of a box with Betty Crocker's name on it.


Anyway, since I've moved into my apartment, I very rarely cook or bake unless company is coming over because like I said, people seem to assume that I am a marvelous cook. I have no idea why people have this idea. I invite them over, and they say, "I'm so excited! You're such a great cook!"


Meanwhile, I'm thinking, "Dadgummit," and reaching for my cell phone to hit speed dial #4 (Home) and say, "Mama, help!!! Eight people are coming over to my apartment, and they expect awesome dinner! What the heck do I do?"


And thus the conversation begins: "Well you could _______"


My reply: "But is that easy?"


"Well you could _______"


"But is that easy enough?"


"Or _________"


"That sounds like a lot of really complicated steps, Mom."


Sometimes, Dad takes over:

"Ashley, you're 21 years old, and you have a bachelor's degree in mathematics, I think you can figure out how to follow a recipe!"


"I dunno, Dad."


Seriously, people, cooking terrifies me. I don't know why. It's irrational, I know.


However, I have mastered the art of scrambled eggs and box mixes, and all things you dump together in a pot on a stove (taco soup, for example, okay well that's the only thing I've done so far, and I called Mom like 50 million times for reassurance and instructions).


Side story: The same time I made taco soup, I also had to bake something.


"Nonsense, Ashley! You don't have to bake anything. You're just being an overachiever."


I say, "No! You don't understand!"


You see, I had just started grad school, and I was getting to know my fellow TAs, and I mentioned that I had just moved into an apartment by myself and that I had lots of fun decorating (which I did, and maybe I'll post pics later). Somehow, this statement combined with the fact that I said I love food led to the inevitable assumption.


Ashley is Betty Crocker, of course. They even suggested that I own a bakery someday because they all (all eight of them) thought I would be a really good baker.


Yes, of course. I can hang my diplomas above the counter, and say, "You can do anything with a math degree!" Lies, I tell you! LIES!


Sorry, I might be a little bitter about having to go to grad school.

So anyway, I found myself standing in the grocery store, looking at Southern living magazines, and I found a picture of these:

They are cakes, shaped like pumpkins!
With vanilla glaze and caramel stems!
I made them for the TAs!
I also had caramel chocolate thumbprint cookies (Betty Crocker mix, of course).
Of course, I made the taco soup, too.
And cornbread (Jiffy box mix).


They loved all of it, and now they are completely convinced I should own a bakery.
Of course, I guess they didn't realize that even the cakes were made from a box mix, and that I still called my mom multiple times about the soup, and for the pumpkins, I even called my aunt.


My aunt is Betty Crocker. Seriously, she actually bakes things from scratch all the time. She bakes things that are so good that every time I take a bite, I say, "I bet these'll be in Heaven."
Also, her favorite cookbook is the Betty Crocker cookbook, not the Betty Crocker box mix aisle.


Where was I? Oh, right that was the side story. The main story (ha!) is much shorter. Today, I needed to bake something to take to my Bible study group tonight, so I called Mom, had the above conversation, and she told me all about the wonderful world of Dump Cake!
Dump cake is my new favorite thing to make. I used spice cake, 2 sticks of melted butter, and apples. My apartment smells like Heaven, anyways I imagine Heaven would smell this heavenly.
It looks like this!

Notice my cupcake cookie jar in the background. The smaller one is a scrubbie-holder. See, I’ll show you.

See! It’s a scrubbie-holder!

Oh, and look! This cupcake is my cupcake timer, which I used to time how long to bake the dump cake.

I got it as a present from one of the Bunko ladies. That’s right. I said Bunko. That’s another story for another day.

Gee, I can’t imagine why people would think I’m a baker.
Maybe I should quit grad school to open a bakery.
Did I mention I don’t like to eat cupcakes?

Finding Neverland: Piano Revision in Blue

I don't particularly remember anything about the plot of the movie, Finding Neverland. I guess I didn't care that much about the storyline itself, but I remember thinking that the music was hauntingly beautiful and made a mental note to find the sheet music. A few months ago, I was shopping on iTunes and stumbled across this song again and fell in love with it. Head over heels. It's now on my bucket list. I have to learn this song before I die. It will be playing in the background of my wedding at some point in the ceremony if I ever manage to get married because this song is just that gorgeous. I love it. It is the very personification of a pianist's dream. It's seriously one of the most beautiful pieces of music I've ever heard. The sheet music is not for sale. I had to find someone's transcription and download it. I am determined to learn this song. It will become a permanent fixture in my repertoire.

The song is titled "Piano Revision in Blue" by Jan A.P. Kaczmarek.
Listen to it's beauty. I apologize for my sappy devotion to this song, but it's really that spectacular. Listen to it all the way through. It's four and a half minutes of sheer loveliness.

Get this widget Track details eSnips Social DNA

It gives me chills. Maybe I'll quit grad school to become a pianist.

At the Office Episode 1: Hearts and Jelly Beans

I'm sure there will be more stories to come, hence the numbering. As I've stated earlier, I have multiple part-time jobs. Oftentimes, I have funny stories from work, and I decided to start sharing them with you. So here we go!

*The story begins where the asterisk is located farther down the page if you care to jump past my rambling background information. I'll forgive you for not reading every word. :)

This past week, I went to work at the engineering firm. Many times when referring to this job, I use the word "work" in quotation marks.

Exhibit A: I "worked" at the engineering firm today.

"Why?" you ask. Surely working as a drafter at an engineering firm must be filled with important duties. Nope. Wrong. Most of the time, I work only a few hours out of a normal eight-hour work day. Sometimes a big job is going out, and I have hours upon hours of work and come in on the weekends to finish the electrical plans before they send them off to the architect or whatever it is they do with them (I don't really know to be perfectly honest. After all, I'm a lowly math student who is always daydreaming of non-mathy things. Yes, I said "non-mathy." I made it up. It's now acceptable as a word.) Anyway, most of the time, I don't have that much work to do.

Also, since starting grad school and working as a TA, I only "work" at the engineering firm three days a week for a couple of hours per day. So I barely work there at all these days. So many times this year, I'll have a test coming up or I won't get to work until 3:30 or 4:00 in the afternoon because of class, blah, blah, bleck!

Get to the point! Sorry I'm longwinded.

So if I'm feeling absolutely swamped or on the verge of a nervous breakdown (which is a fairly frequent occurrence since grad school invaded my pleasant life), I'll text my boss, and simply say: "I'm not going to make it to work today. Call me if you need me."

"WHAT?!" you shout at me in a reprimanding tone.

I will have to tell you to calm down. I'm in no danger of getting fired. I work at the most laid-back business in the history of mankind.

"Episode 1: Hearts and Jelly Beans" will demonstrate this fact.

Yes, I am just now getting to the point. After all, I have to build some suspense in order to make my ordinary life stories seem interesting. I'm competing with all those blogs about world travel for crying out loud. I have to compensate somehow!

*The story begins:

For the past two weeks, I had midterms.

**Okay, I got a little carried away. The plot starts at the "**" below.

Not just any midterms, mind you. Terrifying, life-altering, ground-yourself-for-two-weeks-prior-to-midterms-so-that-if/when-you-flunk-said-midterms-you-at-least-won't-feel-guilty-for-not-trying midterms. Did I mention grad school's not one of my favorite things?

**So, I texted my boss and said, "I won't be at work until after next Wednesday because I have midterms."

Even for this laid-back business, I thought that might be pushing it a bit. I mean, I didn't ask; I just stated that I would not be at work for about two weeks.

So when I finally got to go to work two weeks later, I showed up about 3:30 on a Friday. Much to my surprise (not), there was no work on my desk. Usually when this happens, I whip out some math homework and stare at it for a couple hours until 5:00 trying to look productive and memorizing math gibberish. However, this time I had just finished taking my midterms, and I did not care about doing homework. As a matter of fact, this Friday was the Friday which marked the beginning of Spring Break. I did not even want to be at work. I wanted to let my brain shut down and turn to mush for the rest of the day and the following week, and that was exactly what I was going to do, thank you very much.

So what's a girl to do? I didn't have a book with me to read. I'm somewhat of a joke around the office. The majority of engineers hate reading, especially that useless fiction stuff. They are mesmerized by my ability to sit in my desk chair and read a book per day during the summer (when I'm not in school, obviously); oh I mean, when I'm "working."

Last Friday, though, I didn't have any work or "work" to do/read, so I did the only thing I could think of doing.

I started playing a game of Hearts on the company computer. I was in the middle of losing my third round (terribly, if I might add), when my boss walked by, and then slowed down, and then stopped at my desk.

Oh, this does not look good. This does not look good at all. I skipped work for two weeks and showed up to clock in to play card games and get paid for it. He's going to fire me or lecture me or something. Great, just great.

As I was sitting there for a few moments trying to remember which file I had saved my resume in on my computer so that I could start applying for a new job, my boss slowly leaned over my shoulder and said:

...
...
...

(That's me building tension since I've spent so many words leading up this moment. Sorry. Moving on...)

...
...
...

"You can make the box bigger, you know."

I was confused. "What?" I tentatively asked.

"The box," my boss said, "you can make it bigger."

Imagine me silently staring at him. Crickets are chirping.

"You mean the card game?" I asked.

"Yeah, you're sitting really close to the screen, and squinting. You know you can make it bigger, right?"

"You mean, maximize the screen?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Oh," I laughed, "I tried already, but the maximize button is grey, see? I can't click on it to make it bigger."

My boss looked doubtful of my computer knowledge and said, "Can't you just scroll over the corner until the little arrow shows up and drag the box and make it bigger?"

"Uh...well, I'll try again." I tried. Nothing happened.

"Here, let me try." He tried. Nothing happened.

"Oh...well, I'm sorry. It looks like it's hard for you to see," he said kindly.

"Oh, don't worry about it! I don't mind at all!"

"Well, sorry about that."

"It's okay, really!"

Yeah, my story's not over yet.

15 minutes later

I hear footsteps approaching. I think I'd moved onto Minesweeper by this point.

My boss stops by my desk again. I look up and smile. Perhaps he has electrical plans for me to work on or something.

Then he says, "Do you like jelly beans?"

"Well...yeah. Yeah, I like them."

My boss holds out a huge bag of Starburst brand jelly beans, "You want some?"

"Well, sure! Thanks!"

I reach out as if to take just a few, when he interrupts me saying, "No, just take them."

"What?"

"Just take the whole bag. You can have them."

"Really?"

"Yeah, go ahead."

"Well...thank you!"

"Sure."

And then my boss walked away.

BEST. JOB. EVER.

Quick Update

I realized last night when I made a new post that I hadn’t written on my blog in a ridiculously long time, so here’s the highlights from last year:

I graduated from college with a BA in Math and a minor in English. Yay!

I discovered I can’t do much with said degree except teach math at a high school or something.

I watched the movie Post-Grad and related to it entirely too much.

I panicked over my lack of plans for the future and ended up in math grad school because I know I’m good at the whole school thing (I mean, I graduated after all).

I discovered that grad school is the perfect place to kill my love of math and of learning.

I discovered that I like teaching math. I work as a TA at the university to pay for grad school.

I discovered that I hate grad school.

I haven’t made myself quit yet. Should I stay and finish since I’ve already almost completed a year of the torture (not to mention paid for the year of torture)? Should I leave? Should I stay or should I go now?! Good song, very applicable to life.

I still tutor math and English.

I do some accounting for a database and web design business.

I still work at an engineering firm doing drafting and whatever I want when there isn’t work for me to do.

I play piano way more since grad school started, primarily because it reminds me that I am in fact good at something. I’m not a prodigy, and I don’t like playing in front of tons of people, but it’s still fun.

I moved out of my parents’ house and live in an apartment across town.

I dream of all the things I could be doing instead of grad school.

None of the things I dream of involve math since I loathe math grad school.

I consider quitting grad school about every 12 seconds or so.

One would wonder why I don’t just quit. I’ll tell you why.

Because if I quit, future thirty year old Ashley might say to herself, “Ashley, why didn’t you just hang in there and finish?” The only thing I hate worse than The Dungeon (that’s what I affectionately call the math building at school) is the idea that The Dungeon could squash my dreams and fill my future self with regret. Silly, I know, but there you have it.

So if I write on here much this year, I can guarantee the following:

My posts will be random.
My posts will be about everything but math...well, I think they will be anyway.
My posts may contain rants or countless tales of a confused post-grad in grad school.

The good news is:
I make it my goal to find a reason to be thankful every day. There are plenty of reasons. Perhaps I will inform you of them on this here blog.

Reason #1: I know God has a plan for my life, even if I’m not too sure what it is yet.

The sun will come up tomorrow. As Anne of Green Gables once said, "Isn't it nice that tomorrow is a brand new day with no mistakes in it yet?"

That’s all for now. Have a splendid day. Thanks for reading this, whoever you are.

Texting Lauren: Rockets, Christmas Trees, and Husband Surveys

The following conversation is a perfect example of one of the many hilarious reasons why Lauren and I have been friends for twenty-one years. We can change the subject fifty times, and talk about absolutely nothing of importance and absolutely everything of importance for hours and years on end. The following is simply an excerpt from a particularly amusing conversation. It all started when Lauren asked me how Spring Break was going. Enjoy.

Me: Are you in Houston all week?

Lauren: Yes ma'am. At a rockets game currently.

Me: ...what sport is that?

Lauren: Basketball lol. We just met up with the spring break campaign that's there.

Me: Is watching basketball fun?

Lauren: Ha it's better in person, but we also walked around a bit.

Me: Haha well that's nice. I took down my Christmas tree. That's all.

Lauren: Haha well at least you finally accomplished that.

Me: Kinda. I can't find a big enough box for the bottom so it's just laying in the floor.

Lauren: Haha well you'll eventually get it all picked up!

Me: Too bad I don't have an attic...maybe I should get a house and a dog and then I could put my tree in the attic. Great plan.

Lauren: Yes good plan, but add a husband in too. Even better plan.

Me: That's true. Very good plan. I'm afraid he's off with the house and the dog somewhere without me. Silly husband-to-be.

Lauren: Well you will just have to go track him down and get him back on the plan!

Me: Haha it would help if I at least had a first name to go by.

Lauren: You should go to different church meetings throughout the week and find him!

Me: But how will I know it's him? I guess I'll just take a survey of who has a house and a dog.

Lauren: Very good plan. And if you're up-front and honest about it, you can weed out the ones that will be freaked out by the concept.

Me: Haha true! And I can hand out my number to the ones who have a house and a dog.

Lauren: Does it have to be a certain kind of dog, too?

Me: A big dog!

Lauren: Yes, so also make a column for kind of dog. Or you could just be a greeter and slip your number into cute guys' pockets.

Me: Great idea!! I should probably use Microsoft Publisher since columns are a pain in Microsoft Word.

Lauren: I wouldn't know. lol

Me: Haha, I should probably make a column for job, too...as in, do they have one. However, in today's economy, that might decrease my number of options drastically, so maybe I shouldn't make a column for that.

Lauren: Y'all could just live off the salary of love.

Me: Of course. I'll get rid of the job column. I can't think of any other important columns.

Lauren: No, I think we have determined all of the important ones.

Me: Agreed.